It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We are and How to End the Cycle
Inherited family trauma is currently an area of growing interest, as science increasingly explores what we know intuitively: that the effects of trauma can pass from one generation to the next and that the answers to some of our greatest life problems often lie not within our own story, but in the experiences of our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and extended family. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on in those in the present. And while inherited physical traits are easily discernible, this emotional legacy is often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language. A pioneer in this field, director of the Family Constellation Institute and creator of the Core Language Approach, Mark Wolynn focuses on identifying and breaking inherited family patterns. IT DIDN'T START WITH YOU is an accessible, pragmatic, and prescriptive guide to the method with which Wolynn has helped thousands of people reclaim their lives. The book includes moving stories, the latest research and extensive material on The Core Language Approach and how to map out family patterns to achieve greater insight into our lives.
Praise for It Didn't Start with You "Mark Wolynn does a masterful job of illuminating the ways in which our ancestors' unresolved suffering, often unknown to us, disables us and binds us painfully to them. He gives us the tools and skills--an approach that combines understanding, imaginative dialogues, and compassionate reconnection--to free and heal ourselves." --James S. Gordon, MD, author of Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression "It Didn't Start with You takes us a big step forward, advancing the fields of trauma therapy, mindfulness applications, and human understanding. It is a bold, creative, and compassionate work." --Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness "This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing." --Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge "Mark Wolynn's extraordinary book cracks the secret code of families and proves that you can go home again--once you understand how history made you. Full of life-changing stories, powerful insights, and practical tools for personal healing, It Didn't Start With You deserves a place on your bookshelf next to Alice Miller's The Drama of the Gifted Child and Dan Siegel's The Developing Mind. You'll never see your family the same way again." --Mark Matousek, author of Ethical Wisdom "Bridging both neuroscience and psychodynamic thinking, It Didn't Start with You provides the reader with Mark Wolynn's hard-earned toolbox of do-it-yourself clinical aids and provocative insights." --Jess P. Shatkin, MD, MPH, Vice Chair for Education at NYU Langone Medical Center's Child Study Center and author of Child & Adolescent Mental Health"After reading It Didn't Start with You, I found myself immediately able to apply Mark Wolynn's techniques with my patients and saw incredible results, in a shorter time than with traditional psychotherapeutic techniques. I encourage you to read this book. It's truly cutting edge." --Alexanndra Kreps, MD From the Hardcover edition.
Mark Wolynn is a leading expert on inherited family trauma. As director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, he has trained thousands of clinicians and treated thousands more patients struggling with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive thoughts, self-harm, chronic pain and illness. A sought-after lecturer, he leads workshops at hospitals, clinics, conferences and teaching centres around the world. He has taught at the University of Pittsburgh, the Western Psychiatric Institute, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, The New York Open Center and The California Institute of Integral Studies. His articles have appeared in Elephant Journal and Psych Central and his poetry has been published The New Yorker.