Everyone engages in self-protecting behaviours to some extent, but when these begin to take on the form of bad habits, they can be damaging. People often use self-protection strategies in love and relationships to mitigate potential pain or heartbreak. This book considers the defence mechanisms inadvertently used to avoid closeness with other people, the inner self, and reality and any resulting distress from confrontation with these bodies. This book will teach you how to recognise specific protective behaviours that hinder close relationships and why we engage in them. By understanding the source of these patterns and objectively considering the alternatives, the author will guide you on the path to overcome negative protection strategies and embrace positive relationships. With a foundation in psychology, this book will also be of interest to professional counsellors and therapists.
A practical guide to understanding and overcoming the behaviours that hinder close relationships
Ilse Sand is a theology graduate from the University of Aarhus, where she wrote her Master's thesis on C.G. Jung and Soren Kierkegaard. She is also trained in several psychotherapeutic approaches and is registered with the Association for Psychotherapy in Denmark. After being employed for several years as a parish priest for the Danish National Church she now works as a supervisor, trainer, speaker and therapist. See more at www.highlysensitive-hsp.com
Foreword. Introduction. 1. Self-protection strategies. 2. When self-protection strategies become automatic. 3. Fear of closeness, grief, and loss of control. 4. Negative patterns that can hinder a successful love life. 5. Parental idealisation. 6. A feeling of total consciousness. 7. Dismantling inappropriate self-protection strategies. 8. The way home. Acknowledgements. Bibliography.